You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize