yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
