lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am available for nakedness
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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