why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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