I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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