I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
