I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
