Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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