I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize