the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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