I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
