Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
