I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
