i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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