I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize