Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
