Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
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I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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