Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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