belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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