none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize