i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
