it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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