yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this will be a night to untag.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
