Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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