She's JV to your varsity
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
