If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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