Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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