let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
