I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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