i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize