STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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