I love black thongs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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