I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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