Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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