She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
