Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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