My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
