dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
