There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
