Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize