she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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