Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
