it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
