I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
