What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
