Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
