You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
