Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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