i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
