we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
