I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
