I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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