Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
