You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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