Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We were destined to go to rehab together
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
